marriage book roundup – part 2

This is a continuation of our first marriage book round up post where we shared four books on marriage that we’ve read and enjoyed. See part 1 here.

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

We are still reading through this book but have read most of it. His Needs, Her Needs walks through the top 5 needs for Him and the top 5 for Her. This book is one where you definitely want to talk about and discuss with your spouse/significant other while reading it because it makes generalizations that aren’t necessarily true for everyone to the degree outlined in the book. This book’s focus is on meeting the essential needs of your spouse in order to build an affair-proof marriage – the idea being that when your needs are met you wont be as susceptible to looking to get them met outside of your marriage. Matthew and I have enjoyed this book so far but do agree that it can be a bit extreme and sometimes the tone toward women irked me a bit. But again, it is helpful in getting the conversation started and opening a door to talk about and explore each others needs and ask how to better meet them.

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

This book is a classic. Knowing the five love languages (acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch) and understanding what yours are can make all the difference. I took the love language test when I was younger to find out my love language, but since then it has changed which I realized when reading this book with Matthew. For us, it has really helped to know each others love languages and be able to focus on loving the other in that vein. What we have learned over the years is that even though you might do something loving for the other, it wont always have the same effect or be received the same way. Doing something loving that falls into the other person’s love language category on the other hand, will make them feel loved and will be received as loving. This is something Matthew and I are continuing to work on and figure out and have found this book a great resource in learning how to love each other better.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

I’m pretty sure we read this book while we were dating. It is also by Gary Chapman and touches on some of the principles found in The 5 Love Languages. This is a pretty quick read that provides insight into aspects of marriage people don’t always consider or think about. We really enjoyed this one and gave a copy as a gift to one of Matthew’s sisters when she got engaged. My favorite part about it is that it isn’t overwhelming but still raises a lot of good points about marriage from the perspective of someone who has been there. It has a myth-busting quality to it and I really enjoyed the discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I think this is a great book to start with if you’re wanting to read a book about marriage with your serious boyfriend/girlfriend.

Other Resources

Love & Respect Podcast // The author of Love & Respect, along with his son, have a podcast where they talk about different issues and questions about relationships – beyond just marriage. The first nine episodes talk about the cycles outlined in the book in regard to both marriage and family as a whole.

5 Love Languages Test // Take the test and discover what your love language is! It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, or in a relationship, you can find out your love language and what each of them mean. You can even take the test for/with your children!

Fierce Marriage // Fierce Marriage is a blog about marriage run by Ryan and Selena Frederick. They write encouraging and thoughtful posts on marriage – everything from communication to parenting and in-between. They also provide sharable quotes and images you can post to your social media accounts.

X3 Watch // X3 watch is an internet accountability resource that allows you to block pornographic or inappropriate sites and notifies an accountability partner if those sites are visited. It provides the crucial safety net of community and is a great tool for anyone trying to navigate the minefield of the internet with purity, integrity, and consciousness.

We hope you enjoy this round up and find some useful books and resources that are helpful for you and the relationships in your life.

Note: all of the books in this selection are rooted in Christian principles but can be read and applied to any marriage. This post is not sponsored in any way. All opinions are our own.

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marriage book roundup – part 2

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